Moments...

You know those moments that are remembered throughout your life. They can take up on a few minutes of your life but it's amazingly facinating to me when these moments in time occur because they can change your life in an instant. I've had a few of these moments, one of them was very personal and the other I had no idea was going to happen, but they are important moments in my life.


One of these moments I planned (or at least I thought I had) and though I didn't really know what the outcome would be this was a moment that changed my life. It was a time when I revealed to someone something that I knew would break this persons trust in me. I created this moment because the feelings that I had for this person were beyond what I could handle and I felt that he'd be better off without me. So, I revealed a truth that I knew would likely end our friendship. I cared so much about this person but I could not allow myself to show this person my heart because I knew that where I was in my life at the time I could only cause this person pain. So, I felt by hurting the person now I could avoid causing more pain in the future. This person had a significant impact on my life. I still think about this person almost everyday.

The other moment happened up in Alaska. I had decided that I needed to spend some time in a place that would challenge me in a way that Paris or Mexico had not. So, I decided that Alaska was the place. One November day in 1991, I traveled to Alaska alone (hence the emphasis on alone...) and I decided after about 5 days in Anchorage that I would travel down to a little 'fishing' town called Seward. I didn't know much about Seward, I just knew it was on the water and it didn't look that scary on the map... scary meaning in Alaska if you drive to far into the wilderness and from 'civilization' you might not make it back. Well the days were getting shorter and the sky much more grim than when I had arrived but I got in my rental car and I headed down the highway. The town of Seward, though small, was amazing. I stayed at a local Bed and Breakfast and I was pretty happy or at least I thought I was until I visited the local grocery store in town.

One afternoon I decided it was time to get to the store and stock up on some groceries. The owner of the B&B I was staying at recommended a small, local grocery store in town. Now keep in mind I had not yet gotten out of Alaska what I had planned... sure it was beautiful and I was in total awe of the scenary, but I had not really opened myself up to the world of Alaska. Anyway, I headed out for the store and after walking through a few eisles I remembered thinking how understocked this store was... where were the croisants, the chevre , the rows of fabulous fruits and veggies that I was use to in California. But this was Alaska and items like Mangos (of course) were not easy to come by in the winter months in the town of Seward and although it was a port town; there was not a lot going on during this time of year. But, I still did not understand where the mangos were... Anyway, while I was hanging out in the 'magazine/book' eisle for a few minutes something happened. One of those moments, unexpected and one that caught me completely off guard. Out of the corner of my eye, just to my right a dark haired, native Alaskan woman appeared and she said "Are you waiting for this months "Mystery Magazine" to arrive too?" In that moment, my silly, mango, bay area life came to a halt... and there were brake marks on this moment. I was immediately humbled by her words and though I was not sure how to respond I said, "No, are you?" She then told me that she had been waiting for well over a month for the shipment to arrive with the latest "Mystery Magazine" as she was reading a story that was "to be continued"... This was the moment I'd been waiting for and it happened in a grocery store in Seward, Alaska. I had what I had come for and this moment changed my life.

Think about the Moments that have changed your life...

Stacey